BLACK CHILDREN DON'T KNOW THAT RACISM EXISTS?

The media is still covering the incident at the The Valley Swim Club as the President explains that he misspoke when he said that the black children would change the "complexion" and "atmosphere" of the club. The Creative Steps Day Camp received an invitation from the club president to reinstate their membership and Creative Steps put their lawsuit on hold.

On hold? This is one reason why black people won't be taken seriously.

They are openly discriminated against and as soon as the racists find that their dastardly deed has national media attention, they try to make amends and the black folks decide to put their litigation on hold. Why? They had a very clear-cut discrimination suit in which a settlement would have been awarded.

What surprised me was that the director of Creative Steps Day Camp mentioned on national news that some of the children were crying when they were turned away from the swim club and that they would need to have therapy.

I am not sure how old these children are but I was aware of racism when I was in kindergarten.

My family belonged to a private country club when I was a child. The club members were white. They didn't dare to deny our family admission. The actual photo of the club grounds is shown at the right. I am sure that there were racist members of the club. They never made their racism blatant because they knew that swift repercussions would result. My father doesn't accept apologies from white racists. He hits them where it hurts the most.

I remember when a professor came to this forum and mentioned that her friend had recently moved into an all-white area after purchasing a condo. She said that white male neighbors were regularly sexually harassing her friend. I am wondering if her friend called the police at the time of the first incident. I am wondering if the police addressed the situation after the first report. I am wondering if she contacted the Chief of Police after the first incident - or whether she just rolled her eyes. I am also wondering if she didn't do anything except whine and complain to her black friends on the phone!

The reason why I have to wonder these things is because I know scores of black women who ignore sexual predators in their midst. They will continue walking down the street while a predator is following closely behind the making vulgar comments about their body parts. They don't know how to dial 911? Or they just feel that it's okay to grant instant immunity to criminals who stalk women walking down the street?

I think that black women need to evaluate how mentally prepared we are to address racism. The divestment discussions that we have had revealed to me how fearful many black women are about leaving all-black constructs. It also revealed how difficult it is for many of them to confess that they are deeply afraid of being the only black person in all-white settings.

Why would any black person be afraid of being in all-white settings?

I have no understanding of that fear because I grew up in all-white settings, and I had traveled all over the world during my childhood. I was used to being around people from many different cultures and class tiers. I have never felt intimidated when encountering people who didn't look like I do, dress like I do or sound like I do.

Why is social rejection so frightening for so many black women? I have met many black women who have allowed themselves to be taken advantage of by family members because they were afraid to be ostracized by their siblings or relatives. I have met black women who were silent about the rapes of their own daughters because they were afraid to be scorned by church members if they spoke out.

I believe that those who are most afraid of social rejection are those persons who have been "conditioned" to foster self-identity through group association. Not every black woman has been conditioned to foster self-worth based on the level of social validation that she receives - but many have been. How do we begin to dismantle this dysfunctional method of constructing self-worth?

One reason why there are black women who react negatively (and fearfully) to discussions about the myth of black monoculturalism is because their identity is tied to the notion of racial homogeneity and racial conformity! When we begin to discuss the fragmentation of racial conformity, it attacks their source of security. Their sense of self was fostered by an erroneous belief that all black people in this country had similar origins, similar backgrounds, one culture, and one belief system. If that belief is attacked, they are forced to find another means to define themselves!

By telling themselves "all black women are _________" they validate all of their traits. They tell themselves that the traits they have are traits that belong to all black women. Once they learn that they have deceived themselves, they are not sure how to interpret their traits. They no longer are able to assign their own traits to an entire group for validation!

I recently mentioned to a discussion participant that accepting the reality that blacks are not a monolithic group means that blacks have to be viewed as individuals. Many black people don't actually want to view blacks as individuals. It's easier for them to walk through life being totally ignorant about the level of diversity in the black race in our country. Abandoning ignorance requires a change in self-definition. It is difficult to alter our self-definitions. This is why divestment is such a difficult discussion for many black women.

There are many black women who don't know how to redefine themselves. (We aren't the only ones who don't know how!)

How do you redefine yourself if you are not dependent on the traits of a group to give validity to your own personhood?

Those children from the Creative Steps Day Camp were not taught that their self-worth is not based on whether they are accepted by white people. Assuming that all of these children were older children, I believe that if a strong sense of black pride had been instilled in them, they would not have been surprised, crying (or traumatized) when they encountered racism at the pool. I blame the director of the day camp for the lack of mental preparedness of the children for the racism they faced.

Where is the vetting process?

Let us quickly review the situation with Creative Day Camp.

The director sees a nice club that appears to be white. She decides to call and ask for information for her campers to use the swimming pool. She sends in her money for the campers. She didn't visit the club before she sent in the money? She didn't spend time at the club in order to learn about the club atmosphere? The same day the children visited for the first time was her first visit too? She's bringing black children from Philly into an all-white club and she thought that they all would greet her and her group with a rousing rendition of "We Are The World"?

Where is the common sense? Newsflash for black women who enter all-white settings: Never assume that racism will not rear its head.

I have been in many all-white settings where racism was present and was not brought to my attention out of fear of my acts of retaliation. I have been in many all-white settings where I was openly embraced. I won't ever assume that racism has been eradicated from this society. It seems that the director of Creative Steps Day Camp thought that she could just bring black children from Philly into a white suburban environment without creating any alarm at all? Pure naivety? Pure stupidity? I can't decide.

After hearing her comments to the media, I doubt that she had prepared the black children of the day camp for the realities of being in a setting where there may be different class norms or cultural norms. You may be thinking "it's just a swimming pool, Lisa! It's not that deep!" It is that deep because we now see exactly what happened on the day of the pool visit.

This forum has a divestment platform. It also has many posts that prepare black women to dismantle certain mentalities that will prove detrimental outside of all-black constructs.

One mentality that will prove detrimental outside of all-black constructs is a belief that racism doesn't exist. Another mentality that will prove detrimental outside of all-black constructs is a belief that every white person is a secret member of the Klan (or a potential recruit).

The director of Creative Steps Day Camp said that she was surprised to encounter racism. She must be a fool. Is she clinging to the notion of a postracial America because a biracial man from Hawaii and his black wife from the Southside of Chicago are living in the White House?

All of the blogs hosted by blacks that have covered this incident have expressed outrage over the blatant racism by the club. {yawn} I am hardly surprised that this incident occurred at a private white club. I am more outraged that black people are still being "surprised" by acts of racism and have not become skilled at addressing racism.

The black children are emotional and crying because they don't understand why these white people don't want them around their children. They don't understand it? What does it take for black parents to give their black children the tools needed to navigate a classist white supremacist patriarchal infrastructure?

The professor who came to this forum a few weeks ago and mentioned that her friend was being sexually harassed by white male neighbors did not mention the actions that her friend had taken. I still wonder why.

There are three ways to deal with racism:
1) Pretend that it doesn't exist until white people do something to wake you out of denial.
2) Act emotional and rant about it among other blacks.
3) Have a plan in place before encountering it and then execute it swiftly so that steep consequences result.

Clearly, the director of the Creative Steps Day Camp was operating with denial and that denial impacted the lack of preparedness of the children to deal with what unfolded. Newsflash for all who are still asleep: Racism and classism exists.

There are white people who don't want their white children around black children. The reason why they don't want their white children around black children is because they feel that black children are poorly behaved. They feel that black children are criminals-in-training. They cling to these beliefs because they are racist and bigoted. One of the children from the day camp reported that as soon as they got into the pool, the white children got out of the pool.

Your nine-year old Malik may be an adorable, precocious boy to you. To a white racist, your darling Malik is a possible purse snatcher. How do you educate your children about classist and racist stereotypes without instilling resentment and bigotry against all white people?

It is exasperating to me that at this forum, I still have to educate adults who are in their 20s and 30s about the class landscape in this country. This reveals to me that plenty of black parents are not educating their children about classism. It seems that if black parents have mentioned racism to their children at all, they have taught their children to harbor bigoted views and to validate blanket assumptions about all white people.

We need to do better.

If we are going to become influential in the global arena, we need a plan in place to address racism. We can't be so easily pacified. I could not believe that the director of the Creative Steps Day Camp put her lawsuit on hold after the club apologized. She paid less than $2,000 to the club and her money was refunded by the club after the incident.

The Valley Swim Club will pay a lot more in a settlement when they lose a discrimination lawsuit. So the victims of racism are now backing down just because they received an apology and an invitation to return? Why would they want to return?

The Valley Swim Club will throw a barbeque when they return just to pretend that they aren't actually racists - now that the nation is watching them. I can see the newscast now... white members waving and smiling at the black children... hugging the black parents... white women holding brownies with pasted-on smiles. The news crew interviewing the black children who say that they are having a wonderful time and that they are happy to be invited back. {finger in mouth}

Sistas, we need to get serious about having proactive strategies in place when we enter non-black constructs because classism and racism will meet us there. It's a complete waste of time to act outraged with no plan of action.

We do such a fine job when it's time to complain and to be offended on television.

Where's the proactive strategy to hit racists where it hurts the most?