INVESTIGATING OUR DIFFERENCES

I saw this video today and there are many interesting viewpoints that I thought this brotha shared that are useful for the discussions that we are having at this blog about the barriers to solidarity and the barriers to our self-actualization.

I believe that it will be valuable for us to discuss the barriers to solidarity that he identifies.

In the greeting that is located on this blog's sidebar, I reference Dr. bell hooks' two-minute audio clip, titled, "Investigating Our Differences". She says:

One reasons why I go back to the question of love and hope is it was Imamu Amiri Baraka who first said to me, and then publicly, that monolism is not revolutionary, that we need hope. We need to believe in order to create our political movements, in order to strengthen community. We need to believe in the power of community even when our communities are failing us.

Those of you in recovery know that you hear so often "act as if". I think it is important for us to act as if in the process of community-making, even if there are flaws in our struggle. Because as long as we act as if, we keep alive our hope and our belief in community. I think when you speak about love in relation to political movements and ending 'dominater culture', we are constantly working against the sentimental patriarchal notions of love,and talking about that love that energizes you, that gives you the courage, that allows you to go forward one more time.

I love Sweet Honey In The Rock when they say, 'When we work for freedom we can not rest, until it's done. It constantly reminds me to go that extra step, in relation to someone else, in relation to people that I may not be interested in. Do I really want to take time with this white person to let them know something? Do I really want to take time, you know, with a bourgie black woman that I think is dissing me?"

"...Making community with people who are different from you is different than making community with those who are like you.... White supremacy has impinged upon us so much that we do not spend enough time investigating our differences..."

In June, I began a discussion at this blog about "Re-examining Barriers To Community".

In the audio tape, Dr. hooks asks: "What does it mean to embrace difference in community?

She says that, "If you do not have a core of self love, difference will be threatening to you in community." I want to talk about how our self love will impact our activism. We know that self love is tied to self-acceptance and self-acceptance is tied to self-esteem. Self-esteem is tied to self-definition.

Those who permit others to formulate definitions of them will often wrestle with self-acceptance and will have self-esteem issues. I spend a lot of time in discussions at this blog insisting that black women begin to define themselves to themselves and for themselves - individually and collectively. In two posts, I offered a series of "who am I" questions.

Whenever I am part of a gathering of sistas, I often notice that there is an undercurrent of collusion that enforces uniformity in thought. If one woman shares a point of view that others do not share, there is sometimes hostility that is expressed by others. Eyes dart to others in the room. Someone may speak up and share another viewpoint but will usually apologize for thinking differently than the person who has just spoken. Why do we even apologize for expressing our own experience in a way that differs from another woman's experience?

If I think differently than you do, if I had a different upbringing than you did, if I live differently than you do, why is that a threat to who you are? Dr. hooks targets the root of it all: a lack of self love.

If I love myself, I will celebrate the uniqueness of others.

If I love myself, I will appreciate knowing that there are differences among people within my race and within other races.

If I love myself, I will not feel diminished if no one validates my personal history or perspectives. If self-love is not common within our race, then how does this dynamic of impact how we will be in community with one another?

What is it about black solidarity and gender solidarity that causes so many to believe that the expression of our diversity in thought is the beginning of conflict?

I have lost count of the number of times that I have encountered others who expressed resentment and jealousy when hearing that all black people do not have the same socioeconomic background. People have said to me, "you are nothing like I had imagined when we first met". My response is usually, "well, do you always attempt to define who someone is and what they are all about when you've just met them?" I usually receive silence to that question. The truth is, yes, many people do make a practice of formulating definitions of persons they do not know.

We were discussing transgendered women a few weeks ago. A few people were uncomfortable with my position the fluidity of gender that a person chooses to embrace is not the decision of the community. Most will agree that each person should decide for himself/herself about how to express gender. Do we openly demonstrate that we understand this? If all of us demonstrated this understanding, then transgendered PoC would not feel ostracized within their own race. Effeminate gay men would not be ridiculed when walking down the street.

As we investigate our differences, let's identify the ways we attempt to enforce our definitions on other people:
- Collusion
- Hostility
- Rejection
- Imagined offenses
- Discrimination
- Ridicule

The more secure we are in our own identity, the less threatened and hostile we will become towards those who express an identity that is outside of what we have believed to be commonly-embraced.

I remember in a prior discussion at this blog that I said that I was not a feminist or a womanist. I remember the reactions of a few: "oh yes you are!" Why is it that we can not accept a person's self-definition? Is it that we have a need to control how others define who they are?

If a transgendered woman says, "I am a woman", why is it that we have to say "oh no you are not!" Why do we feel it is so harmful to our psyche to allow others to define themselves as they choose to? What is inside of us that refuses to allow the expression of differences?

Why was Tiger Woods ridiculed by blacks for choosing his own definition of his ancestral background? Is he not entitled to define himself as he chooses to? I heard so many people sneering, "he's trying to say he's not black!" My response was: "just how does his self-definition impact your life?"

May I share an observation that may make some people uncomfortable? Those who are insecure about their own self-definition tend to have the most venom unleashed towards those who are secure about theirs. Those who are insecure about their own self-definition are quick to speculate on another person's reasons for adopting a self-definition that differs from the one they want to give them.

I read several online discussions where people were mentioning that Soledad O'Brien did not mention that 1/4 of her ancestry was African when she began her career in journalism. My response in those discussions was: "So? Can a person evolve? As a person evolves, can that person be allowed to change his/her self-definition?" There were remarks being made online that Soledad was attempting "to pass" early in her career. Really? Do you know her personally? Do you know her parents and their views about self-definition? Some people think they can enforce rules about self-definition upon others. I don't care if Soledad defined herself as Latina at one point in her life and then changed her self-definition to black-Latina at another point in her life. Her self-definition does not influence my existence.

Someone asked me, "will Halle Barry identify her baby as black?" I was wondering, "why do any black people even care?" Isn't it her decision to define her own child's ancestry as she chooses to? Why should we discuss the identity a mother gives her child who has 1/4 African ancestry?

I have heard the argument that black people are being manipulated by those PoC who change their self-definition. No one manipulates you without your permission.

I've heard that there are benefits that blacks receive that others can attempt to take for themselves by stating they are black. Really? Which benefits? Academic scholarships? Hundreds and thousands of dollars in scholarship money goes unused every year! Social services? Which publicly-subsidized services are only accessible to blacks? There is no reason at all for blacks to enforce parameters of "self definitions" upon all persons who have percentages of African ancestry in their gene pool. The resentment is actually rooted in the privilege that others have exercised of being able to claim any part of one's ancestry at any time.

Investigating our differences requires that we ask ourselves about how and why we react to the definitions that others give themselves.

I hear many ministers saying that this country is a Christian nation and was founded on Christian principles? Really now. "All men are created equal." Tell that to the Native Americans. Tell that to the Africans of the Diaspora. The U.S. is not a Christian nation; it is the fourth-largest non-Christian nation in the world. I am not in a nation where Christianity is being embraced. Most Americans do not live Christian lifestyles. I am in a nation where the label of Christianity is placed on any type of bigotry, classism, sexism or racism that persons choose to espouse. Most of the descriptions I have heard of Christianity in the last twenty years (from those who profess they are Christians) are either inaccurate or blatantly false.

In the video at the beginning of this post, we hear a black man sharing the experiences he has had among blacks as an openly gay man. The disrespect that he mentions is not uncommon in our community or in mainstream society. People are often blatantly disrespectful. There are rules of this blog that are violated by bloggers who feel entitled to disrespect - and to return!

I can remember an elderly deacon in our church openly ridiculing a transgendered woman who was a friend of mine. He felt entitled to disrespect.

I often read rules that blog hosts have posted. Very often, blog hosts are admonishing people about being disrespectful towards others in the comment section. I want to investigate whether self-hatred is at the root of the actions that reflect an entitlement to disregard. Do we dare unpack the entitlement to disregard?

Can we be part of the change we seek? How?

The gentlemen in the video mentions that he encountered collusion from those who were observing the actions of entitlement to disregard. As we investigate our differences, we have to examine social dynamics that exist.

Are we as outraged about the rape of a lesbian by another lesbian as we are about the rape of a heterosexual military woman by a white military official?

We know that "injustice anywhere is a threat to injustice everywhere." Why don't we speak up when someone else is being infringed upon? Is it too costly? Or is it that we agree with the discrimination we see and so we remain silent?

Conflict in any aspect of our environment will impact all of us eventually. Those who paid no attention to the gangs forming on another side of town are infuriated that the crime has entered their section of town. Those who looked the other way at crime in the ghettos are not infuriated that crime is rampant in their suburbs. Conflict will impact everyone eventually.

I have posed a number of questions, but may I share a few more?


How will our differences in upbringing serve as an asset in collective activism?

How will our class differences serve as an asset?

How will our differences in spiritual background serve as an asset?


We need to understand how our differences are going to be leveraged as assets. If we do not know, then we will continue to operate with a conspiracy of false unity.

This is why it is important for us to discuss new methods of how "to investigate our differences," as Dr. hooks says, "in order to come together."